A new beginning!?

December 26th for most would normally be a day to sit back, kick up your feet kind of day however for Pastor Freddie and I we signed a certified letter that came in the mail from our landlord where our Church is presently located.

We set the letter on the counter unopened and sat down to talk. We had a pretty good idea what the letter was about because we had fallen many months behind in rent. Our lease was up this month and without the mercy from the Lord we knew we were going to be asked to move out.

Freddie and I tossed the idea back and forth of when we should hold our breath and open the letter. Neither one of us were ready for the somersaults in our stomachs we knew were surly going to come. Finally I opened the letter and had no idea the journey we were about to go on.

First let me say we have the greatest church in the world. Our members for sure are about the only ones that we can say with no doubt support us beyond belief. I honestly can not say that about everyone.

Let me head back to the beginning and go from there to now.

We contacted Missy the next day. I figured why ruin her sleep…I wrote an e-mail to my sisters. We decided not to tell the congregation until we HAD to. Two others found out a few days later and at that point we prayed. Now you have to understand, Prayer to us isn’t talking to God. It’s a two way street. We both talk and we both listen. However no answer was coming from heaven to our why.

The hard work and the fragile lives we work with day after day pulled on us unbelievably. Our body’s developed symptoms from  going into complete shut down. The emotional strain couldn’t possibly be put into words. We searched our hearts with a fine tooth comb for error and reasons why my God wasn’t answering.

The news trickled out to a few others outside our congregation and words of support comforted us for a few days however the strain from watching hard work just run through our fingers wore greatly on us day in and day out. So much so that anger rose up in us towards so many. Bitterness seeped in and slowly replaced joy. I wanted to hear nothing anyone had to say. Words became simply that, “words”. I understood the book of Job as never before and thought I was going to spit if I heard “We’re praying” one more time.

Again a few others heard what we were going through and again words such as, we should try this and maybe try that began the now usual ending…”we’re praying!” Before I continue on, we thought everything others suggested before it was suggested. God is our life, His work He has given us has been my hope, the lives we help every single day have taught me more than I have taught them therefore avenues of escape have been explored at great length.

Freddie, Missy and I walked into the offices every morning shoving past the despair our hearts carried and went on working. I gave more than I ever did before not to prove a point but to be able to walk out with no regrets after every day. On service days I praised my God like never before knowing on January 31st I will not be able to in that building again and still had no idea where I might be going or how long before I was going to get there.

Phone calls from people after 2 weeks have slowed down therefore not many call anymore. In a funny sort of way it has made things a tad easier. Saying we have no answer from God yet has gotten old and we know many doubt who we are.

Because of the type of ministry we have, we know that often people sit back and really wonder if what we do is of God. We also know that nobody wants to give to a sinking ship and in our case some may say “if it is God then where’s the money?” They are waiting to see if we survive with folded arms. This too we know is God.

Others believe it or not are getting a kick out of this and will have a party if  (which we won’t) close up.

Last Sunday we told our congregation. Two weeks to go… and survival plans have been put in place. WVM is not shutting down and the work we have begun through God will continue.

The homeless men have found out this week which  from December 26th to now, been the most heartbreaking. What they have said, what they have done, how they have looked and the sound they have made as they cried will NEVER be explained in words for anyone to mock or flippantly blow off.

We financially are broke. We have been for some time now. Our congregation is 70% homeless which doesn’t take a rocket scientist to understand we aren’t wasting or blowing money. We simply couldn’t get anyone to support us regularly. Obviously God is going to take another direction and we’re ready to go.

I am no longer angry nor bitter. My understanding of people has charged forward in ways it could not have a month ago. If no one ever believes in us again I know that my God does. He cares about people especially people nobody else wants because of  how they smell, what tax bracket they fall into or where; what, they call home.

Some have had a good laugh, others are waiting to see how long it takes before the bow of the ship disappears under the water. Having to hold up your head alone while some glance your way but quickly cut their eyes away when you see their stare hurts from time to time.

As a friend of mine from the streets says… “It’s all good sister Jaye, it’s all good”. When he walked away from me Thursday night crying I quoted his words back to him as he rounded the corner. He never looked back yet his words are so true. It all IS good! My God loves me and I have no doubt anymore He has some really BIG plans for me and the many others here at WVM.


There’s much much work still left to do. The next 2 weeks should be fun.




3 Responses to “A new beginning!?”

  1. […] A new beginning!? « 14th Street Bridge Weblog […]

  2. ANEB! WVM will continue to move forward and follow the voice of God no matter what it looks like or what people think. It is about helping hurting people not pleasing people

  3. Obviously this is definately a “walk by faith” not by sight situation. NObody knows where this will take your ministry. With the way things are now, maybe a mobile ministry is the way to go? We don’t know and certainly don’t profess that we do. I know that you will be guided in the right direction. You have an office in your back yard and maybe there is a way that some of these other churches will contribute by doing breakfast just one day a week. I don’t want to offer up more suggestions but the homeless ministry needs to be a situation that all members of the Christian world needs to acknowledge and take part in helping with.
    I know that we all offer prayers but it works and we will keep up the faith in where your mission takes you.

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